A Collar. It can be a sensitive topic for some pending its context.
Jay Lawson wrote it all perfectly, a blogger whose writing I had tripped over but found informative and interesting. I will link the page HERE but dropping the cliff notes on this page.
Collars in historical times were put on slaves as to identify who owned them. To collar someone at the neck meant that you hold that person in ultimate control. Today’s purpose in the BDSM lifestyle community collars carry many different meanings depending on the individual, but generally speaking the significance of the collar is the same – a person has control over another. One very important distinction from our historical counterpart rests in the consensual nature of the collar. In today’s times, the submissive or slave has the choice of whether or not to submit. A collar of ownership is one of the most common reasons why we have a collar in the BDSM community. But collars can mean so many different things though. Not every collar in the community is a collar of ownership. There are so many different meanings, different ways in which the collaring happens, and different levels to it for some.
A collar has meaning to those who are involved in the relationship. It can be just like a wedding ring for some, a power exchange to others, or it may be something taken lightly and tossed away at impulse.
A “Consideration Collar” is generally the first collar a Submissive will receive from a Dominant. If I had to compare it to anything, I’d give it the likeness of a promise ring. It shows devotion, but not necessarily loyalty. Consider it like a test drive collar.
A “Training Collar” comes next and is usually leather, red or black, but can also be substituted for a chain. Formalities only matter in special settings and if your hard for tradition.
A “Full Collar” is a wedding ring in BDSM culture. This collar shows that you have committed fully to your partner, Sub or Dom. When the time comes for a full collar it shows a deep emotional bond, as well as sincere trust and devotion at the highest of levels. It’s a very real respect and honor to be in this type of bond.
A Sub accepting the collar is a way of showing absolute submission by trust, and dedication. This collar should be given with a ceremony including friends, vows, poetry, music, and a celebration. This to the BDSM community is the equivalent of marriage.
Most of these I have seen online are permanent although most are made easy to remove for cleaning.
“Play collars” usually have little to no meaning, and are only used during scenes. This is typically what you would find if you visit me. I keep no serious anything if in the event I end up in bad situation.
As you can see, its complicated.
With my hobby career, it chops my ability to truly be collared. I could not call someone Master just from preference, I have yet to meet a human that gives me the urge to do so. I am a ball busting Bitch, if I submit to you then that means something about you in a super positive way. I do not want to be a 24/7 service sub. I love to be of service but I will only put in as much as I am given and on occasion, I snap back making me a very mouthy submissive.
I’ve always had domestic tendencies, so I ask myself that even though it’s something I want one day (to be collared), is it something I could REALLY handle? I’ve been single so long that I’m not sure I could handle someone all the time but I hope one day I can or else I shall die with 5 pugs LOL
“Hither lies anastasia. The lady wast a stubborn squirrel and did doth kicketh the bucket living high-lone with a dozen did dress up dogs”
The type of man I would require would be a unrealistic list. He would have to deal with me and variations of me like my little side. You cant accept one part of me and not the other. Mom. Sex Worker. Human. Submissive. That does not leave a lot of time to be anything else. I have crazy high anxiety, a homebody and a total nerd.
So what brought these thought on?
I was given a few beautiful chokers, it was made very clear that I was not being collared. This was not an issue but it made the thought run across my mind. I have been a Mistress since I was 19 years old, it doesn’t bother me but sometimes the grass looks greener elsewhere. I admit at first I was beyond sad but it took me a week to process those feelings. I get my moments to fantasize and its nice. There are days I cling to the GF experience and those are the days I need it the most. Ill say that its much more fun being the mistress, the perks are awesome.
Remember any list I give you is much more enjoyable then the one your wife gives you. In case you were wondering, I do get joy from that. Is that bad? Is that another kink?? Damn, I trip over those like Legos. I struggle with jealousy and am starting to like it… interesting. However I am not threatened by wives. They are there and I am not taking their place, on a real level, I am envious of some.
In my own Fantasy world I would meet a couple like William and Elizabeth Marston. (<—trailer with noise) The polyamourous couple that invented the lie detector machine and Wonder Woman.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE not sharing a bed but sometimes, I wanna share a bed.
So yes. It took me a week to break down the idea. Maybe I’m broken but those are my thoughts.
Wanna know more about me? Here is the link of all links
Thanks for reading my random rambling.