GFE by Trade/Sub by Choice

Obviously if you have read reviews on me, you will notice that there are not many (if any) reviews of my submissive side. I do not want guys to get the idea that all of the visits will be equal. They are go with the flow pending on limits and desires of both people. No two visits will be the same.
When I entered the hobby in 2009, I was actually a Dominatrix. Something I do well but has too many downsides, honestly it seemed safer on that side. I also did not have a educated anything of what the core of bdsm really was.  As I got older I noticed that everyday, anywhere I was at any point of the day that I was having to bark at someone about something. I wanted a fucking break where I didnt have to micro manage the day. 
In 2010 I saw someone that was well known on ECCIE for BDSM, this was a humbling experience. He was short and made a demand, I laughed, I ended up on my knees before I had any clue what happened. It was an Oh shit moment for sure. I went into my own happy zone later learning this is what is called subspace. 
I found a place that I wasnt in charge of shit. I was able to just “be”. Do you know how hard it is as a woman to shut my brain off? Subspace seems to be the only place I am truly peaceful. I am nearly non verbal when in this stage, you might get some yes/no answers. I may not always get there. 
I had the assumption that bdsm was far too dangerous for the hobby, its not NOT true. I could quite literally be dragged to my death. So I kept it slightly in my personal relationships but always too scared to bring it up to my vanilla partners. This means I went a crazy for a long time just thinking about it but never able to do anything about it. 
 in 2013 probably the most intense relationship of my life. He was my Dom 24/7, he was romantic, stern, handsome and just all over amazing. We carried on for two years leading to him placing a more symbolic collar on me, he also had a love for games of sorts and was beyond creative. Sadly I was blind to the fact he was a sugar daddy in disguise and married. I confronted him and he left with no further words. My master just vanished. You dont understand, he probably could have said to jump off a bridge and I would have done it. Much like Harley falling into acid. He would have more than a story, it would be a novel. 
I burried that part of myself. It seemed easier than going through the whole 9 yards again. 
Earlier this year, some weird spark just clicked like a craving. I always crave being used but this was going further. 
I wanted to go to Infliction hall in euless but my nerves kept me home.  There is just too much to happen to a single girl going into a adult club and it wont always be good. I can meet with strangers I met online but not people I meet face to face in a sex club LOL! 
How was I going to get my fix without throwing myself in danger?This was getting to a point that I needed it. I figured every decision we make in life is technically a gamble. Took the gamble and put feelers out to see what would happen. I am so glad I did….Best decision ever! 
The toys, Assertive men, Bound, Blindfolded….im not into pain. That is so important! Insinuated pain, like a soft suede flogger is not painful, its sexy as fuck. I love being spanked but not bruised. Im not into weird sensory tools that might startle me out of subspace. Threats are cool as long as they are stated before meeting like threatening to fuck my ass. I dont do greek so I wouldnt actually want you to do it. 
its liberating from a busy world when I can just be a brat or zone out instead of a responsible adult. For the brat side to come out, that has to be discussed because if I screwed up and said that shit to the wrong person LOL bratting without consent is just being an asshole. I also enjoy being extra slutty to further embrace my sexuality. Its like Build a Bitch (just so you have an idea of what im listening to)
This is a good aftercare video, she touches different aspects. Its not ALL true for me but its good info. I really enjoy cuddles after and I probably have a praise surprise, right? This is beyond important. If your engaging in this type of session, you are already agreeing to this. You dont wanna see the depressive blob I turn into if this is ignored.
This is an amazing video and she is Stupid Hot.
This Is also a Great video giving an outline of a Soft Dominant.
It doesnt mean that i only do fetish now. I will always be a true GFE. I still love getting under the blankets and getting a nice slow grind on. 
All this means is after all these years in the hobby, I am finally doing what I want to do instead of doing what I think guys would want me to do. Maybe one day I will be open to the idea of another 24/7 arrangement and hopefully it will happen naturally. 
What your actually witnessing is me learning more about myself. I imagine it might be where you are too. ———————————————————————————————————————————————————–Thank you so much for reading! You have no idea how much it means to me and the amount of positive feedback is incredible. When I first started my blog forever ago, it was my way of being able to be relatable while giving you all the answers you were looking for. 
Tips are always appreciated but NEVER expectedCashapp-HousekeepingDFWAmazon GiftCard-
Stores I love (Because people ask)If it is agreed on, there are times I will accept full or partial amounts on Gift cards. Ive heard this makes things easier to hide (?) idk since I only hide from my kids. LUSH—Target—TJ Max—Amazon—Arlington Camera
DUUUUUUUDDDEEEE. I Found out I get 3 full days with no kids. WTF am I gonna do?! Overnights? eating cheetos naked on a bean bag chair? I know ripleys or the dallas aquarium is on my list. Im gonna be exhausted and IDGAF

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