Catching Feelings

When Sir came to visit

All week I had been digging myself in a hole with Sir. My bratty side wanted to poke him like a grumpy bear just to see what he would do. His reactions were always so hard to gauge, maybe he knew my brat side needed to play off of his reactions. My common sense was… Continue Reading →

Smol and mismatched

* I have made a few entries within recent months about my life as a “little” as it is something that brings me much joy. I will always try to put definitions to relevant words 🥰😘 I would post more thoroughly about it if I thought it was wanted information. Like all people with odd… Continue Reading →

XXX From the breeder view

Normally I do not jump right into my topic, but no woman can honestly say they do not love the feeling of a man cumming inside of her. The reasons behind that are what is different for each person. The stimulation of hot cum unloading on my g-spot is one thing and letting the primal… Continue Reading →

The major four letter word in the hobby to express connection is not “Love” but instead is replaced with the word “Fuck”. Its kind of the point and goal to avoid feelings but what happens otherwise? It happens all the time, someone catches feelings. Its unavoidable. 
Lets take a look at some of my own hobby emotion driven Fuck up

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When I VERY first got started on ECCIE. One of my very first clients was a really cool guy. At the time, I did not have a car. I wanted to go to IKEA to fill my apartment with furniture but had no way to get it back and he was sweet enough to help out. It turned to that was my drinking buddy and close friend. We went on vacation together on the River Walk and BAM…I became pregnant. Yup. I was that dumb bitch. We figured we would attempt a relationship. That lasted 3 years. I could not get him to stop hobbying, he was never home and didnt want me to hobby either. 
This problem with that relationship was we expected each other to stop doing what we were already doing. I am a very possessive GF (I know lol) and that was not going to work for me. He wanted me to stop but did not want to replace my income.  He eventually took me to court and showed ALL my hobby stuff and handed my ass to me.

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I met someone awhile later. He seemed way out of my league and I could not figure out why he liked me. He had the best surprises like randonly dropping of art supplies at my door so they would be there when I woke and hand painted chocolates. It went on for two magical years and then I found out he was and had been married the whole time, that I didnt know anything real about him and then he was gone. He left silently and I never heard from him again.  I was played and never saw it coming.  I still dream of him sometimes. He was my first DOM, he was who trained me.  We were deeply connected or was that just me? I could almost write a book on our experiences. 

———————————————————————This one I am not proud of. I met someone and we were genuinely flirting, He was maybe 30 years my senior. We had lunch twice before I found out he was married.  At that moment, I didn’t care. He was fun but in a wholesome way. He worked downtown and I would often go have lunch with him and walk around before he went back in his building. He knew I get stupid excited for mail (i know lol) and he would mail me sweet notes. Months go by and then Gift Cards started popping up in there. Mind you, This guy was not in the hobby.  It eventually turned into cards, cash and a gas card. I would be dumb to say anything and mess that up lol
His wife eventually started calling me at 4am, this became a normal thing. Me waking up in the middle of the night “Yes Denise?” Its weird when you get used to the SD’s wife calling to yell at you. I got caught up in my work schedule and was not able to go downtown as much as I liked. He said I spent too much time working and started paying my rent. He was a really great guy and it was the ideal sugar-ship. After his wife busted us several times, he said he wanted to leave her and we could have our lives. uuummmmm no. HERE is the crazy part, in two years we never had sex. Our clothes never came off. To him, It wasnt cheating unless we got physical. 

———————————————————————–This one is far more common. I have a client that I have been seeing since 2009, longer than any relationship I have ever been in. He was a total dreamboat and we always had a blast since our humor was equally matched. When we had our time together, we really did go to our own world.  It was years before I ever went to his home and I was blown away when I got there. It was nicer than anything I could ever want for myself. 
When I was leaving and driving past the iron gate I stopped the car. I realized I left my donation and then I realized why and instantly started crying. It felt so real to me that I forgot why I was even there in the first place. It wasnt my life, that was not my man and I was just a passing moment. 
We are still great friends and meet for lunch on occassion but have not had a visit in years. We knew that we both had to step back. We both suck at relationships so bad and that was why we needed eachother. In order to keep one another, we had to step away. Im hoping we can resume at some point because he has a stupid huge cock.  The only guy that can fuck me like crazy and still make me laugh


Being in this line of work limits what you can have; the perfect example being a normal relationship. 


So lets look at the married client. I totally get it. Looking at the same person day in and day out. You want variety. It is not my job to shame you or to tell you to do otherwise. I wont mention the wife if you dont because in that moment, you are mine. Unless you wanna talk about her lol There used to be a guy that would ask me to wear red lipstick because I reminded him of his mother in law…weird but ok. 


So what happens if you get busted by the MRS. You pay me a pretty hefty sum of $200-$300 and with that comes perks. Your not paying for sex (unless that our game lol), What your paying for is for me to go away and your privacy on the matter. If a wife calls, I say I am a sponser at a support group and that I cannot say which one. The rest of the story is whatever you say.  If I am shown screenshots I say I am an online performer and I have no clue who the individual is.  My first response is to NOT say anything at all. However If i am tricked into answering her (like thinking its another escort) then I will say next to nothing and then block them. If I say nothing then your already deemed guilty. 
What about when a Clients falls in LOVE At that point I have to cut it off. I’ve had it happen and it gets scary real quick. I’ve had someone offer to leave their wife and make a new life with me….no…no…no.  How you get them is how you will lose them. I am a shitty partner. I’m great for small windows and yall get the best of me. I am just as cranky and bitchy as all women, see what happens if you don’t feed me LOL! 
Feelings are OK!I pride myself of being personable but I am also lonely in my personal life, having these GFE moments fills voids. I despise being in a relationship so this works for me!  It is impossible to do this without having some kind of feelings. I have a few great guys that my thoughts have extended beyond the bedroom but this is a fantasy world. There are bounderies that should NEVER br crossed. I am very fond of people I meet and it will show. You get the best of me and I like to think I am seeing the best of you. 
Feelings+ Hobby= Sugar StatusIve had a few sugar daddies before. It was absolutely amazing and made great memories. The rules totally change and its a nice change of pace. Although I despise the negotiation. 
Hope you enjoyed
More questions I need to cover? message me!Got a topic? send it!
I spend a ton of time writing awesome content, hopefully will do so professionally one day!If you like the blog…the podcast is coming soon!!!
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