Being ripped from Subspace

Let me paint the scene.
This is my time with “DD” (Daddy Dom). I am wanting you to keep in mind that we have spent many many hours building trust. We have somewhat of a routine with how things are introduced that we both agreed on. Typically at the end of our rendevouz, he will give me a preview of the item that will be added the next visit. This gives me a chance to check it out, become familiar with it, and know how it sounds. This also gives me the choice to reject something which has been useful. 

DD is a Rigger, a person who loves to tie up (or down) a person possibly to the point of being totally immobilized. This falls under the D/s spectrum and at least in this case, includes forced repeated orgasms. This was actually the first time we went fully tied but still had room (safety, duh). He got to my room with his 50 lb dungeon in a big ass duffle bag 😂

Our set routine is I sit down and have a drink (or kneel pending my behavior) and this is when he gets all of what we need for this particular scene and places everything how he likes it. Me seeing this is exciting and also helpful for me since I’m blindfolded most of our visits. I was a little preoccupied watching him set up but I did get a photo after because it looked insane. This is just to give you an idea. 

This is what we worked up to, this was what I knew he was looking forward to this and so was I. The ropes were a new addition but something we obviously discussed and agreed on. The rest of what your see is the maroon wrist and thigh cuff set, spreader bar, blindfold, and a ball gag. These are not all used at the same time and are switched out at various points. This was our most intense session yet. 

Remember, if I’m in that really good space, you probably sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Rest assured, subspace IMO is way better than an orgasm. I am happy and I’d like to stay there. Here is an article that describes it really well, a really great read.

My fav part is how they describe the chemical reaction and what causes the onset of that mindset. 

There was a point I had gone non-verbal (normal), was blindfolded,(normal), and tied down spread eagle (new)I am off in Happy Land and suddenly I hear something unfamiliar. I looked over every toy beforehand, flogger, whip, cuff and there were no toys that had this motorized sound. This sounds bad but I know what “bob” (my toy) sounds like and that wasn’t it either. I felt myself falling. This almost sounded like a drill. 

I asked him what it was. The noise stopped. I heard him say something but couldn’t tell you what it was During what felt like the longest silent moment ever created, I couldn’t hear him, see him or feel him. I felt alone and helpless. 

In my lifestyle, I face the chance of death with every meeting and that is my sad reality. It’s always a fear somewhere in the back of my mind, so why do I do it? “The Rush is worth the price we pay” (yes it’s from a Kesha song LOL) 
This is where I panicked and was ripped from subspace and slammed into a brick wall. A horrific Sub drop. My breathing changed, my body changed to being frozen and he instantly noticed. If it wasn’t for his reaction, this would have been truly catastrophic. There was no sign of panic. He calmly untied everything.

I instantly turned into a ball. He bundled me in my blanket and curled up with me. This took hours for us to process what went wrong and talk through it. This whole time I am still under the tear-soaked mask which is cool because I suck at emotion and especially dislike people seeing me express emotion. Surprising me with objects is never ok. Especially if I get the idea that I could be in actual danger. 

We left the room to go get dinner and then came back to repack the bag. This time, he let me dig through the bag while he was packing it hehe it’s not something I usually get to do. Me messing with his OCD and feeling the need to rearrange as he is putting it back. tipping it over. making videos and being silly. 

We made a plan for our next visit which was to reverse back to square 1 and work back up.  I was fine and I made sure to let him know that I was fine. I thought that was that.

I learned Dom drop was a thing. I have seriously never heard of it or seen it mentioned. Never did I think about the mental high the dominant experiences and how they are just as capable of “dropping”.  Or what my partner mentally goes through causing the submissive to go through such an experience. 

This was by far the hardest drop I have ever experienced, I can only imagine what he went through today.  The hard part about this lifestyle is when I can’t do anything about it today because there is a Mrs there that would probably not be cool with me curled up on her husbands’ lap. Then id wanna tell her why she has a gnome stocking 😂

FYI – I deflect with Humor 

So I asked around, did some reading, tried to be helpful.Even sent some goofy as fuck snap clips to make him laughWe sent each other stuff from our research today (bc we’re nerds)
Here are a few articles about Dom Drop that may put it a bit more in perspectivearticle 1dom drop 
This is a journey. Mistakes will happen and Yes it is worth every moment of it. This was an extremely hard post so please treat it with respect. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————Some random notes*my submissiveness must be earned.*Aftercare is mandatory* I only see a handful of these particular gentleman *I only see one of each type at a time (refer to types of doms) –to avoid training mix ups and be respectful
*For me a Master is someone I see exclusively and has a way to heavy price tag.*Your aftercare is important to me too*communication is Key

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